Bored ? Try this joke then

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Little Johnny

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his
father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the
horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked,
"Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure
that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.

Johnny, looking worried, said,
"Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mommy.

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you
think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"


Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on
her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the
cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"


Monday, September 11, 2006

Where is God?

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all
about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are
probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been
successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would
speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with
the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God
is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting
there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
"Where is God?!"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in
the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and
dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG
trouble this time."

scroll down....

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Question & Answer between Husband And Wife

A husband is asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
His reply: It depends, if I can find a phone.

Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?
Wife replies: Of course, honey. I stayed awake with all the others!

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
He replies: Thanks for the warning.

A wife asks her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looks at her from head to toe and replies: I like your sense of humour.

Interviewer to millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire: I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?
Millionaire: A billionaire.


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Refreshing one

Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady: What?!? I thought you said three males a day!

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: See how powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there actually be that's greater than this one?'

Son: Mum, when I was on the bus with dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mum: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But, mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Father to son after exam: I want to know how you are getting on at school. Let me see your report card.
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.


Friday, September 01, 2006

Loving Husband

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.
While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."