Bored ? Try this joke then

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Lawyer should never ask a witness when....

Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer.....

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy,and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "
The Lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll throw
you in jail for contempt."

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Thats me

Whilst enjoying a drink with a mate one night, one young man decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place.

The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her flat they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it.

Finally, the satisfied young man rolls over, pulls out a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies.

Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the young man begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?"

"No, don't be daft," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demands the bewildered young man.

Calmly, the girl takes a match, strikes it across the side of her face and replies, "That's me before the operation."

Little Johnny - I like the way you are thinking.

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?" "None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away."

"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."

Comments: Old joke, but still nice :)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

How to survive in the office

Hmm, interesting i am sure some of us are thinking these ways, coffee,,,tea time,,,chocolate time :)

Hmm, I know...this will definitely work once a month :).

Friday, April 07, 2006


A WOMAN wanted to call her husband on his handphone but discovered that the battery on her handphone was dead.

So she instructed her young son to use his phone to pass an urgent message to his daddy.

After junior called, he told his mummy that a woman had picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried calling.

Angry, she waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and, upon seeing him in the driveway, rushed out and gave him a tight slap.

And then another, for good measure.

People in the neighbourhood saw the commotion and came out to see what would develop further.

Noticing the gathering of neighbours, the angry woman asked her son to tell everybody what the woman on the phone had said to him when he called.

Junior said: 'The woman's voice said, 'The subscriber you have dialled is not available at the moment. Please try again later.' '


Monday, April 03, 2006

Earning Money is difficult

If you need a bigger picture, just click on the picture.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

How to tell the sex of a bird

This Is AMAZING!!!

Until now I never fully understood how to tell,
The difference Between Male and Female Birds.

I always thought it had to be determined surgically.

Until Now.

Which of The Two Birds Is a Female???

Below are Two Birds. Study them closely...

See If You Can Spot Which of The Two Is The Female.

It can be done.

Even by one with limited bird watching skills










Still can not find it ? Okay, you can click the picture to find the answer :).

Happy Laughing...